


HIM

by Paroma



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecure Stephen Strange, Insecure Tony Stark, M/M, Songfic, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 03:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19737799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paroma/pseuds/Paroma
Summary: Songfic inspired on: HIM by Sam SmithStephen and Tony are teenagers in love struggling with unsupportive families and unrealistic expectations.





	HIM

_Holy Father_  
_We need to talk_  
_I have a secret_  
_That I can't keep_  
_I'm not the boy that_  
_You thought you wanted_  
_Please don't get angry_  
_Have faith in me_

Stephen couldn’t keep himself from wringing his hands anxiously as he glanced at the clock for the hundredth time in fifteen minutes and then back at Tony. His parents were meant to be back home from the market any time now and he could already feel the knot in his throat tightening further, threatening to choke him.

It wasn’t easy to muster the courage, but Tony had been by his side when he decide that it was time, he was going to confess his secret to his parents. He was going to tell him about _him._

Tony had come barging into his life months ago when he still was battling against his own feelings and identity, and like a hurricane he seemed to have blown away that insecurity and further confirm that he in fact liked boys and not girls.

It was with time that they grew closer, and Stephen started gaining more confidence, that their friendship blossomed into something more. Something special, something theirs, something secret…

To the world they were best of friends, one would never be seen without the other being close by; it was safe, necessary.

It was only behind close doors that they let the façade and all pretenses fall, that they would hold on to each other for dear life and dare to do what they were too scared to do outside of a broom closet or a closed bedroom. Tony would kiss him and whisper, “Everything will be alright Steph. I promise you that, one day, we’ll leave this place together, hand in hand, without worrying about hiding.”

And that day had come.

Stephen sucked in a deep breath when the kitchen door opened, the sound of his family milling inside filling the house. Tony glanced up, coming to stand by him, squeezing his hand reassuringly “Are you sure about this?”

“If I don’t do this now, I’ll have to do it tomorrow, or the day after that and I’m tired of hiding. Ma and Pa won’t stop pestering me about asking Christine out and Donna can’t keep her mouth shut about you and Pepper supposedly dating” he ran his hands exasperatedly through his hair sick of everything, of all the murmurs and gossip.

Tony cupped his face and, while keeping a trained ear on the other occupants’ whereabouts, pressed his lips softly to Stephen’s, “We’re doing this together, yeah? Whatever it takes”

“Whatever it takes” he murmured back before pressing is lips back a little harder before taking a step back, “Let’s go.” He gave Tony one last smile as he grabbed his hand to walk over to the kitchen to face is family.

Once he crossed the kitchen threshold, he knew there was no going back. Everyone was busy putting away the groceries, if you count Donna munching on a cookie box busy, so he cleared his throat as loud as he could.

“Stephen dear, I didn’t know you were home” his Ma glanced briefly at them but it was clear by her lack of reaction that she missed them holding hands “And Tony, sweetheart, it’s nice to see you, are you staying for dinner?”

Before Tony could reply, Stephen stepped in. “Yeah he is and-” he looked at Tony who gave him a small nod and a smile, “there’s something important I need to tell you.”

Those words seemed to have pulled his parents away from their chores. He didn’t know if it was the small waver of his voice or that sixth sense that all parents seem to have when their children are in distress, but their attention was his’ now, their worried frowns trained on him. “Honey, what is it?” his Ma asked.

“I’m gay.”

And just like that, the only sound in the Strange household was that of sweet Donna asking, “What is gay?” before the sobs and the shouting began.

 _Say I shouldn't be here but I can't give up his touch_  
_It is him I love_  
_It is him_  
_Don't you try and tell me that God doesn't care for us_  
_It is him I love_  
_It is him I love_

“What _is_ gay? Oh, I’ll tell you what that is darling” his Pa said, and although his voice sound sweet and lovingly to Donna’s ears, Stephen knew that underneath, a storm was brewing. “Gays are an abomination, perverts, unnatural beings that go against everything God created!”

Stephen could feel every word along with his Ma’s sobs piercing is chest. He could feel his vision blurring and his hands giving away just the briefest of trembles. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, what about that acceptance and love they preached so much?

Donna remained as confused as before, only now scared as well at everyone’s reaction.

“How can you talk to your own son like that?!” Tony’s voice seemed to remind everyone that he was still in the room and very much still holding hands with Stephen.

“Oh my…You too?” Ma sobbed harder, holding a hand to her chest as if someone had stab her through the heart.

His Pa took a step closer, his eyes trained on Tony’s defiant ones. “You corrupted my son with your stupid beliefs!”

“I did no such thing and you’re the one with the fucking stupid beliefs if you think that this is wrong!” he snapped back, taking a step in front of Stephen. He loved the Strange family, but he was done listening to all their nonsense and keeping his mouth shut.

Pa scoffed, “Who do you think you are boy? You’ll have to go home eventually and by then Howard will know. What do you think your father will do, welcome you will open arms?”

That seemed to had hit Tony harder than he expected and Stephen saw him tense up at the thought of having to go home and face his father.

“Pa please…” Stephen found his voice and maybe if he begged a little, he could manage to calm his parents down and save Tony from a beating.

“Don’t call me that you ungrateful brat, after everything we’ve done for you, this is how you repay us? By breaking your Ma’s heart and bringing shame to this family?” he spat, looking between the two startled teenagers before looking down on Tony. “Leave this house and if you so much as take a step on my porch, I swear what your father does to you will be nothing compared to what I do to Stephen.”

Ma let out a small whimper from the counter stool where she was rocking Donna who must have started crying shortly after the shouting match began, “Just get out of my house Anthony, you’ve hurt this family enough.”

“Go” Stephen murmured, giving his hand one last painful squeeze before letting go of his hand.

Tony could only stare somberly at Stephen, mouthing _I love you,_ until he shoved past the elder Strange.

Stephen looked at his Pa dead in the eyes with a newfound fierceness, “You think this is the end of it? I’m sick of pretending to be someone I’m not and having to play along with your fantasies of a perfect family. You can’t stop me from seeing him.”

“Can’t you hear yourself? This s nothing a good lesson can’t fix and good thing God is as merciful as he is-“

He didn’t give his Pa a chance to finish before shouting, “I don’t care what you think or what God thinks, it’s him I love!”

The slap came only a few seconds later.

 _I walk the streets of Mississippi_  
_I hold my lover by the hand_  
_I feel you staring when he is with me_  
_How can I make you understand?_

For the following days Stephen was always forced to be accompanied by his sister and the Starks had taken a last-minute trip calling it a ‘family emergency’.

Stephen was constantly scared for Tony, oblivious to whatever it was that he might be facing. He should have gone home with him; it was only fair after he had been there standing up to his parents. But no, he thought antagonizing his father further was more important than-

“Stephen?” Donna asked, her voice coming out smaller. She has been unusually quiet since that day. She was confused still as to why her Ma cried constantly, why her Pa seemed to shout more these days, and why her brother barely smiled or talked anymore.

“Yes Donna?” he sighed; he really wasn’t in the mood for whatever nonsense she wanted to talk about. He wanted the last minutes until they arrived home to remain blissfully quiet.

“Is being gay really that bad?”

Stephen had to stop to look down at his sister, “Why are you asking me this? Do you think I don’t get enough shit at home because of this as it is?”

She seemed to want to make herself smaller although her hand was still holding on to his’, “I-I thought God wanted us to love everyone, but you love Tony and Ma and Pa are mad at you and I don’t understand.”

He took a shaky breath, “Ma and Pa are mad at me because I love Tony like a girlfriend and boyfriend do.”

Her face scrunched up as her six-year-old self thought on it, “But you’re both boys so it’s like boyfriend and boyfriend, right? That’s not bad, it means you love each other very much.”

“Yeah” he said, starting to walk again. “But Ma and Pa and everyone else don’t see it like that. They think it’s okay to love everyone as long as it’s not as boyfriend and boyfriend or girlfriend and girlfriend. Do you understand?”

Donna shook her head, the end of her ponytails hitting her cheeks. “That’s stupid!”

Stephen let out a laugh, the first one in days, as he looked down at his smiling sister before picking her up. “You’re right, it’s stupid.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, laying her head on his shoulder. “I love you Stephen, even if you love boys.”

“I love you too Donna” he said tightening his arms around his little sister, and if he shed a few tears, neither of them mentioned it.

 _Holy Father_  
_Judge my sins_  
_I'm not afraid of what they will bring_  
_I'm not the boy that you thought you wanted_  
_I love him_

His parents thought that a good way to ‘cure’ would be to involve him more in the church’s activities and to never miss a Sunday Mass so that’s where he was stuck now.

They had arrived just before the Mass had begun, sitting in the first corner they could find. And as always, Stephen began spacing out when the reverend started talking. Just as he started scanning the crowd, searching for the stupidest detail that might hold his attention, he caught a pair of familiar chocolate eyes staring back at him.

He felt as if the floor had been swept right off his feet and he had to consciously hold himself back from running over to hug him. It had been nearly two weeks since he last saw or heard anything from Tony and from the looks of it, they haven’t been kind to him either if the bruise he was sporting on his cheek was anything to go by.

Yet, Tony’s eyes were kind and full of love, a wide grin spread over his lips. How could he not hate him after what his father had done to him because of him, of them?

He decided in that moment that he absolutely hated Howard and Maria Stark. He knew Howard had hit Tony before but who knew how many bruises Tony might be hiding under his clothes right now and how many of them have already healed since they left? And Maria was no better. He knew she never hit him, but she always stood by the sidelines, unbothered by her husband’s cruelty.

It was decided then, they just needed to hold on a few years until they turned eighteen and then, they’ll get away from this shit town and it’s stupid people.

They were no longer afraid of their secret been known, nor of their families or their wrong expectations. On the contrary, they were more determined to be with each other.

 _I love you,_ mouthed Tony.

 _And I love you_ , he mouthed back.


End file.
